As expected, American Idol has taken the dawg out back and he won’t be at the judge’s table to hold down Mimi when she tries to butterfly punch Nicki Minaj’s wig off. TMZ is hearing that Randy Jackson’s judge’s chair has been pulled out from under his ass and the producers are giving him the mentor role instead. The producers don’t really want to give Randy the mentor role, but they’re afraid that the world will stop spinning if he doesn’t have someone to say “yo dawg, yo dawn, yo dawg, I wasn’t feeling it, yo dawg, yo dawg” to all the time.
The producers are looking to get the ass cheeks of a country star, like Keith Urban, in the third judge’s chair and they also want to cast a fourth judge. Kanye West was talking to the producers at one point about having a seat at the judge’s table, but that’s not going to happen. So sadly, Ryan Gaycrest won’t get a natural tan when Mimi and Kanye’s egos rub together and sparks a wall of flames that shoots toward the stage.
TMZ’s source says that the producers aren’t sure who should get the fourth seat, but I have two suggestions. Since they’re just throwing piles of money at Mimi and Nicki, they should save a few coins by casting a plastic Randy Jackson bobble head doll that says “YO DAWG!” on a loop or they should try to get the empty RNC chair. If that empty chair can handle getting yelled at by Dirty Harry, it can totally handle those tone-deaf singing kids.
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Yes, ASkars can still bring on the panty pudding even when he looks like he’s having a constipated moment on the toilet – Just Jared
JLo and Casper the Friendly Gold Digger need to get themselves some umbrella hats – Lainey Gossip
I just called to say I love you…but not in a gay way – Towleroad
If you woke up this morning and shouted, “I really want to see some girl from iCarly in a bikini,” then please have a seat over there and look at these pictures while I tell Chris Hansen he can jump out of the pantry now – The Superficial
Our Lady of Cheetos is in a bikini and showing us her exquisite taste in home decor – Hollywood Tuna
Lady CaCa derp-ing with her titties out – Drunken Stepfather
The future Mrs. Chad Kroeger is still making clothes for angsty tweens from 2001 – The Berry
The National Enquirer is publishing entries from Taylor Swift’s Strawberry Shortcake dream diary again – Celebitchy
This will only work if Justin Bieber plays Anastasia Steele (I hate myself for knowing the character names) – ICYDK
It was nice of Amanda Seyfried to pick up whatever is left of Lindsay Lohan’s dignity – Celebslam
Hilary Duff really needs one of those 80s t-shirt clips to really complete the look - Popoholic
A very subtle attack of the clones - Cityrag
Milla Jovovich is a regular Lindsay Lohan – Hollywood Rag
Forget getting arrested for head butting your wife of a minute, nothing is worse than finding out that you’re not in Madden 13 – Crunk + Disorderly
You know Taylor Swift-Kennedy wanted to show up wearing a pillbox hat and pearls – Popsugar
Yes, you can find man nalgas in a place called Beaver Falls – (NSFWish) OMG Blog
Sage Stallone didn’t die of an overdose – I’m Not Obsessed
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Ryan Lochte has confirmed his sexy, Speedo-wearing behind has scored a reality show and it’s going to be centered around his clothing line.
“Pretty much, they follow me on my normal day, just training, doing my own fashion line…It’s gonna be me, me being myself. And I’m pretty much going to show the world that and my new fashion line.”
In case there was any confusion, the show is going to be about Ryan and his clothing line.
We can’t decide what we’re more excited for: his fashion line or to see him in Speedos again!
[Image via WENN.]
Katie Holmes was scheduled to debut her first performance since splitting with Tom Cruise on Broadway this fall on November 28. But alas, scandal is afoot!
The play’s debut has been DELAYED!
By one day. LOLz!
We don’t think there is any dramz going on behind the scenes and as far as we know, the producers just wanted to extend the preview performances for Theresa Rebeck‘s Dead Accounts.
The play’s big premiere will now be on Monday, November 29.
Anyone out there rushing to New York City to watch the comedy?
[Image via Mavrix Online.]