“Why is that dominatrix ice sculpture blinking?” asked hundreds of party guests at Calvin Klein’s Cannes party - Lainey Gossip
Oh how Ryan Seacrest wishes that the OTHER Hough was wearing this outfit instead – Hollywood Tuna
Pictures that have me wondering if I should maybe try to work out this weekend… But wait, fapping while eating a quesadilla at the same time is considered exercise, right? – The Berry
Like the Kane and Kim are going to even last that long - The Superficial
Those wolf brows make Sofia Vergara look like my Tio Jorge – Drunken Stepfather
The shit Detective La Toya will do for a check - Jezebel
I bet a Madge vs. Goopy cat fight looks like wax-covered two praying mantises playing a super aggressive game of patty cake – Celebitchy
George Michael got into another car crash and thankfully Snappy Snaps wasn’t involved this time around – Towleroad
Edward Furlong must love hanging out with cops – ICYDK
You just can’t take the Coachella out of Vanessa Hudgens - Popoholic
BUT IS PHOEBE PRICE OKAY?!!! – HuffPo
Keith Urban doesn’t want to let go of the millions of dollars FOX pays him to do nothing – Reality Tea
Rooney Mara looks like the ghost of Ichabond Crane in daytime drag – Popsugar
If only we all had elegant moves like this – OMG Blog
Amanda Bynes is totally going to Photoshop her crotch on Wheelchair Jimmy’s face - I’m Not Obsessed
Justin Bieber is still dressing like a rejected extra from House Party 2 – Just Jared
F/M/K time! I’d kill Charles Barkley, fuck The Rock and marry Shaq, because he’s the richest – SOW
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Tags:
Afternoon,
Crumbs “Why is that dominatrix ice sculpture blinking?” asked hundreds of party guests at Calvin Klein’s Cannes party - Lainey Gossip
Oh how Ryan Seacrest wishes that the OTHER Hough was wearing this outfit instead – Hollywood Tuna
Pictures that have me wondering if I should maybe try to work out this weekend… But wait, fapping while eating a quesadilla at the same time is considered exercise, right? – The Berry
Like the Kane and Kim are going to even last that long - The Superficial
Those wolf brows make Sofia Vergara look like my Tio Jorge – Drunken Stepfather
The shit Detective La Toya will do for a check - Jezebel
I bet a Madge vs. Goopy cat fight looks like wax-covered two praying mantises playing a super aggressive game of patty cake – Celebitchy
George Michael got into another car crash and thankfully Snappy Snaps wasn’t involved this time around – Towleroad
Edward Furlong must love hanging out with cops – ICYDK
You just can’t take the Coachella out of Vanessa Hudgens - Popoholic
BUT IS PHOEBE PRICE OKAY?!!! – HuffPo
Keith Urban doesn’t want to let go of the millions of dollars FOX pays him to do nothing – Reality Tea
Rooney Mara looks like the ghost of Ichabond Crane in daytime drag – Popsugar
If only we all had elegant moves like this – OMG Blog
Amanda Bynes is totally going to Photoshop her crotch on Wheelchair Jimmy’s face - I’m Not Obsessed
Justin Bieber is still dressing like a rejected extra from House Party 2 – Just Jared
F/M/K time! I’d kill Charles Barkley, fuck The Rock and marry Shaq, because he’s the richest – SOW
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Tags:
Afternoon,
Crumbs Either Miley Cyrus dropped half of her chipmunk face on a mountain of coke or her make-up artist hates her and wants people to know it - Hollywood Tuna
Casper Smart’s gold digging mission is almost complete and he should be proud of himself for achieving such success before even graduating from potty training academy - Lainey Gossip
Teen Mom Farrah’s backdoor bikini is on eBay and I’m surprised nobody has asked if anal leakage stains are included – Drunken Stepfather
Kirstie Alley is the Rosa Parks of fat actresses, basically – Celebitchy
Try not to spit out your tampon from shock when we all find out that Premo Stallone is an actor Pimp Mama Kris hired to get Kourtney Kartrashian some tabloid attention – The Superficial
Uma Thurman will play Anita Bryant – Towleroad
EVERYBODY’S leaving Saturday Night Live and they might as well just get Justin Timberlake to replace them all and call it a day - Just Jared
Jason Hoppy wants to gag Bethenny Frankelstein, but not in a sexy way – Reality Tea
Emma Watson in W Magazine – Popoholic
Kelly Rowland claims she was jealous of Beyonce being more successful than her after Destiny’s Child split up (The Illuminati made her say it) - ICYDK
The third dude should totally be the next Bachelor – The Berry
And here’s Tom Hopper’s ass, because you need something to wipe away the image of Teen Mom Farrah’s anal leakage stains - OMG Blog
Selena Gomez seconds after she realized that she dated Justin Bieber once – IDLYITW
Violet from American Horror Story cleans up good – Popsugar
Why Pimp Mama Kris hasn’t whored out Rob Kartrashian to Jenny Craig yet is beyond me - I’m Not Obsessed
Fame whore still fighting fame whore fame whore-ly on Twitter – HuffPo
As always, RiRi is the definition of sophistication and demureness – Jezebel
Christina Hendricks’ mother, is that you? – SOW
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Tags:
Afternoon,
Crumbs John Currin’s portrait of a naked Bea Arthur is expected to sell at for at least .8 million at Sotheby’s today. I thank all of you in advance for selling all of your possessions, loved ones and internal organs to buy this for me. I will hang it over my Ikea dresser and pray to it every night. Thank you for being a friend. - HuffPo
CHRIS EVANS’ ARMS. That is all. – Lainey Gossip
Aubrey O’Day gives us her best “skank caught in the headlights” look - Drunken Stepfather
LeAnn Rimes bought a husband, so it’s no surprise that she’s buying Twitter followers too - The Superficial
Um, Christina Hendricks’ husband should be kissing the feet of God for having a wife that looks like her, so I’m sure he’d be okay with her wearing sweats every now and again – Celebitchy
The gay version of Girls is happening at HBO – Towleroad
Hayden Pantyairs’ braid kind of looks like the chicken and onion screwer I had for lunch on Sunday – Hollywood Tuna
Carrie Underwood models a piece called “The Glimmer” from She-Ra’s new lingerie collection – Popoholic
Alyssa Milano stopped by The Grove before heading to her hostess job at the Howard Johnson’s Diner – ICYDK
Nobody wants to be on Pimp Mama Kris’ show – Reality Tea
For the rock bottom price of ,000 (which is what Goopy spends a day on diamond water), you can meet Goopy Paltrow and allow her to judge you internally as she tries not to heave while shaking your peasant hand – Jezebel
And somewhere in this world, somebody is going to fap to this – OMG Blog
Justin Timberlake’s Don Draper drag is not working – Just Jared
I see who ever made She By Sheree’s commercial is now outsourcing their talents to Zoolander’s biological son – Videogum
The stills from the new Predator movie are extremely terrifying – Moe Jackson
Things you do while stoned (or if you’re Jessica Simpson, things you do all the time) – The Chive
Here’s Beyonce’s handwritten apology letter to her bumblebeys in Antwerp – IDLYITW
Jim Toth drinks the sweet nectar with AN AMERICAN CITIZEN on American soil – Popsugar
Rita Ora, is that you? - I’m Not Obsessed
The style evolution of Pretty Ricky - Crunk + Disorderly
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Tags:
Afternoon,
Crumbs James Franco’s in GQ Magazine showing off his black belt fisting skills. Teen Mom Farrah doesn’t know whether to close her legs or try to book James for the sequel to her porn – Lainey Gossip
Why is an inflatable green ball with a face trying to nibble on Heidi Klum’s tit? – Drunken Stepfather
When Denise Richards turned down Charlie Sheen’s stack of cash for taking care of twins he just shrugged and said, “More snatch and coke for me then!“ - Celebitchy
Either Emma Watson’s nipple is really long and skinny or she got a hamburger grease stain on her dress – The Superficial
Just Jack is on TV again - Towleroad
Porn Iguana or Snookitina or a little of both?- Hollywood Tuna
The morphing of Blair Waldorf and JLo was at the FOX Upfronts - Popoholic
Jimmy Choo wants Nicole Kidman’s feet - Just Jared
LuMann and Aviva might not be in the next season of Real Houseflies of New York City – Reality Tea
The look on Tori Spelling’s kids faces says it all - ICYDK
Douche parade and yes, I’d hit them all – The Berry
Vanessa Hudgens either has a herp sore or one of the paps blew a fart her way – IDLYITW
B. Coop wants a lot of balls on his head - Popsugar
Carrie Underwears isn’t ready to rent her womb out to a baby yet - I’m Not Obsessed
Oh…Brooke Mueller…. – HuffPo
Ling Woo > Sandra Bullock – Jezebel
0 for a shot glass that looks like an oversized thimble from Monopoly? - Videogum
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Tags:
Afternoon,
Crumbs … And seconds after Prince Hot Ginge strolled out of a Port-A-Potty, dozens of hos ran in there pantless to scoot across the toilet seat and pick up as much as Hot Ginge DNA as possible - Lainey Gossip
Well, Taylor Swift’s music does make my ears feel like they’re burning in hell - The Superficial
RiRi stays dressing like an early 90s hooker who gets all her ho shit uniforms from Miller’s Outpost – Drunken Stepfather
So you know how you threw your naked and greased up body on Henry Cavill that one time? Yeah, it was a little too aggressive for him – Celebitchy
Is the dude in the second picture Johnny Depp or current day Al Pacino after a dye job? - The Berry
Michael Douglas on what it was like dry boning Matt Damon – Towleroad
Either Maxim used all the Photoshop on Heather Graham or she’s been moisturizing her face with the blood of babies – Hollywood Tuna
Halle Berry’s baby dome is growing as baby domes usually do – Popoholic
This tragic STUNT QUEEN move actually makes me miss Heidi and Spencer – ICYDK
So what do all the Real Housewives make a season? (Sadly, the answer isn’t two bottles of Boone’s Farms and a lap dance from Andy Cohen) – Reality Tea
The My Little Pony raver girls are terrifying – Jezebel
“Hey, Pimp Mama Kris, how much for the one on the left?!” – Dennis Rodman – HuffPo
Dear NBC, Kylie Minogue as She-Ra will SAVE the network! - OMG Blog
The Difficult Brown’s neighbors don’t like the portraits of his ass warts that he spray-painted in front of his house – IDLYITW
Dr. Who shaved his head and it’s actually doing things to me – Just Jared
The Jolly Green Giant and Little Green Sprout go to the beach – Popsugar
Steve Sanders, I still would – Boy Culture
Paul Giamatti looking like Mama June without her hair on, I still would – Videogum
More delusions from the mistress of Neverland Manor – Crunk + Disorderly
Savannah Guthrie’s getting married – I’m Not Obsessed
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Tags:
Afternoon,
Crumbs 
