Omg, and all is back to normal!
We were so worried Reese Witherspoon had jumped down some rabbit hole and turned into America’s bada** after being arrested for disorderly conduct and then sporting a totes fake Atlanta Police Department hat, but fear not!
America’s sweetheart is ours again!
Reese is back to blonde after a brief and unfortunate stint as a rebellious brunette.
Beyond that, she was caught in full-on mommy mode, much more the way we’re used to seeing her.
The actress was spotted looking cozy with hubby Jim Toth as they cheered on her son, Deacon, during a football game.
Phew…blonde, at her son’s football game, sober, not yelling that she’s an American citizen.
It looks like we survived the Twilight Zone!
[Image via Pablo/Stoianov/FameFlynet Pictures.]
Here’s Michael Assbender acting all coy with a blond chick after leaving Groucho Club in London last night. They’re doing that flirty dance a lot of drunken hos do right before they’re about to have 3-second sex in the stairwell of one of their apartment buildings. If you see homegirl squat walking out of his building and you see him covered in orange paint, you know they both got some.
I know I should be squinting my eyes to see if I can make out a peen print on Assbender’s crotch, but I’m too busy wondering why he went to the club dressed like he’s just going to the corner store to pick up some cigs. This reminds me of the time I showed up to some internet date’s apartment and he told me he would have to cancel the restaurant reservations he made, because I wasn’t dressed right. Stupid bitch. It’s not like we were going to some fancy place like Outback, we were just going to some taco place. Some picky queens just don’t appreciate a Hypercolor t-shirt and B.U.M. Equipment sweats. Besides, who dresses up for an internet date? You’re just there to eat a quick appetizer and get it on real fast so you can be home in time to watch a re-run of The Nanny on Nick at Nite.
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
A chorus of squishy sounds was heard at the GLAAD Awards in NYC last night when the beautimous Mama June strolled in and made everyone make sketti sauce in their panties. While showing us what it would look like if Kate Hudson was in Shallow Hal, Honey Boo Boo’s maker puckered for the cameras and gave everyone some Like My Body realness. Mama June could’ve really come out for GLAAD by painting each one of her chins a different color of the rainbow, but she still put other hos to shame.
And those other hos were: Rickie from My-So-Called Life, Snooki, JWoww (looking like eighth runner-up for Miss Plastic Surgery Puerto Rico 1991), Milla Jovovich, Fallen Countess LuAnn with her French piece Davide Schwimmaire, the ageless Bernadette Peters, Sam Champion with his husband, John Leguizamo with his wife, noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker with his wife, Wonk-Eyed Vinny with his piece, Mo Rocca and Carmen Carrera.
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
If you watch Game of Thrones, you know that the Khaleesi is instantly recognizable on the screen — because of her almost-so-blonde-it’s-white hair!
Now, imagine what it’s like to be known for that hair… but actually be a brunette! It doesn’t change how talented or beautiful you are, and still, you get passed up during HBO events because they won’t let you wear the wig out! That’s what it’s like to be the amazeballs Emilia Clarke!!
Here’s what she has to say about it:
“It takes a die-hard fan to actually spot me. These HBO events, where I’ll be talking to someone for a fair amount of time, and then suddenly they’re like, Oh s**t! That’s what you do! — they think I’m some crazy Brit who snuck her way into a Hollywood party.”
She even begged the producers to let her wear the wig out on the town:
“They insist there’s no way. They won’t let me go partying with it on! I would be killed on the spot. It’s silly to say, but when I take the wig off at the end of the day, I’m rather disappointed when I look in the mirror.”
Never! If the pics of you posing for GQ (above) are any indication as to what you see in the mirror, we would hope that you aren’t disappointed in the slightest!! Gurl, you’re on FIYAH!
All the confusion over her hair color DOES come with a perk, though, even if it hasn’t materialized yet:
“I’d give my right arm to be, like, a random extra on Girls, just to walk past one of the scenarios. I’d love that more than anything. Or, like, a meth head on Breaking Bad. It’d be like Where’s Wally?! Only, again, without the wig, they wouldn’t recognize me.” We totally would pay money to see that.”
We can only assume she means Where’s Waldo, and that when published in the UK (where it originated), it had the weirder-to-us sounding title of Where’s Wally! We have no idea why they changed it! We could’ve handled ‘Wally’ instead of ‘Waldo’! LOLz!
Our main point here is that she needs to be given loads of credit, even though people don’t recognize her without the GoT hair! She too fab not to!
Oh, and FYI — we’d kill to see her on Breaking Bad!!
[Image via GQ.]
It sure is hard keeping up with all of Leonardo DiCaprio’s blondes!
Since he was spotted looking awfully lip-locked with a new blondie in Miami, we’ve been dying to know who snagged our Titanic hunk this time.
And now we know! She isn’t even a Victoria’s Secret model!
But don’t start thinking he’s dating everyday ladiez now, because the new bombshell in his life is Miss Universe Kosovo 2011 — Aferdita Dreshaj.
From models to beauty queens, sure is hard to be Leo!
retired on break actor isn’t walking down the aisle with this hottie just yet, though! In fact, he’s not even letting her stake claim on him yet as she commented on their relationship:
“We were all just hanging out as friends.”
Friends? Leo doesn’t just have leggy blondes around as friends!
We’re suspecting there might be some benefits involved!
But does this beauty top his other former blondes (below)?!
[Image via MCCFL /Splash News.]
Has this threesome turned into a foursome??
With Karrueche Tran and Rihanna both out of sight, cray cray Chris Brown let it loose Saturday night.
Having partied the night away at WeHo’s Bootsy Bellows, Breezy Boy couldn’t help but let this mystery blonde rub her booty ALL up on his lap!
But don’t worry Rueche and Rih. We hear playboy declined a free ride for the lady, having eventually shut his car door without the shoeless party popper on his crotch.
Hmm… wonder if this was before or after Chrissy routinely checked RiRi’s whereabouts…
[Image via AKM-GSI.]