Being a multi-millionaire with Olsen money means that AmandaBynes doesn’t have to work a real job and can spend every Adderall-induced waking moment giving her followers nightmares by tweeting videos like the one above and pictures like the ones below. That video must’ve been directed by Eli Roth, because that is what you would find if you walked into one of the bathrooms at a murder hostel. If the Silent Hill mannequins had heads, wore a blond weave and were obsessed with taking selfies, that’s what they would look like. But what’s really terrifying and disturbing is that I found myself twerking my shoulders to that German sex club circa 1993 music.
And here’s some selfies Amanda Bynes took at the gym. You know, I hope Hatchet Face keeps doing Amanda’s makeup, because her chola Groucho Marx brows are actually growing on me.
I’ve said this a million times before, but I never know what to think of this. Sometimes I think this is all just an elaborate performance art piece and she’s secretly auditioning for a role as Jerri Blank’s long-lost daughter in the next Strangers with Candy movie (give her the role!). Other times I think she’s Britney-ing it all the way. These gym pics confuse me even more, because I don’t know if wearing full makeup and fake eyelashes to the gym is an act of insanity or an act of sanity since one should always keep it glamorous.
19-year-old Harry Styles had dinner with the Stewarts in L.A. the other night and some said that he was all over 33-year-old KimboStewart and others said that he was all over 25-year-old Ruby Stewart and I said that he was obviously licking butter off of Rod Stewart’s voluptuous face mole. E! says they know which Stewart he’s screwing on and it’s none other than the relic from 2005 known as Kimberly Stewart.
Some source tells E! that Benicio Del Toro’s one night stand turned baby mother and Taylor Swift’s former stalking victim met through a mutual friend and it’s still early, but she likes him enough to introduce him to her whole family. The source said:
“Kim is very strong willed, she goes for what she wants and Harry appreciates that. It is a very new thing and we’ll see where it goes. She is exactly his type.”
I guess since Kimbo Stewart has one baby to take care of, she doesn’t mind taking care of another. I’m around Kimbo’s age and I couldn’t date a 19-year-old who looks like he just graduated from the 7th grade and looks like a toddler-aged Maggie Gyllenhaal in certain light. But I guess Kimbo’s got to do who she’s got to do to keep the paps coming at her.
And here’s some absolutely thrilling pictures of Harry getting coffee while Kimbo waited in the car.
And that is the face of a woman who now knows that everybody knows that she’s doingSeth MacFarlane.
CharlizeTheronwas supposedly sniffing all over Seth McFartlane’s crotch at an Oscars after-party in February and now here they are leaving Matsuhisa in Beverly Hills last night. The humanized Peter Brady bobblehead doll has a smug look on his face that says “oh yeah, you know where my peen is going tonight” and Charlize Theron is making the true definition of a shame face. It’s the same face a Craigslist one-night-stand makes when I see one of them out in public. I know that face!
Seth McFartlane always has a smug face on, but now he really has a reason to be a smug bitch. When you’re getting naked with Charlize Theron on the regular, you’re probably always happily smug no matter what happens to you. If Seth got food poisoning and spent the entire night barfing up shit and shitting up barf, he can stop for a second and let out a smug smile, because he reminded himself that he’s fucking Charlize Theron. If Seth opens up a bag of delicious Gummy Bears and finds that they all melted together and formed a disgusting bar of gumminess (that’s the worst), he can curse at the air for a second and then stop to let out a smug smile, because he remembered that he’s fucking Charlize Theron. If he finds out that his entire family has been kidnapped by pirates, he can…..you know what I’m going to type.
Seth is directing Charlize in a movie, so this could’ve been a business thing, but her “yes, I’m hitting it and I’m not proud of it” face says everything.
According to sources close to the long-running talk series, the iconic journalist was LIVID when news leaked about her conservative co-host’s impending exit, and to attempt damage control, went on air last week to deny the reports!
However, insiders maintain:
“ABC is desperate to freshen up the show. Dumping Joy Behar, who was there 16 years, and Hasselbeck would be the fastest way to do it, they decided. After giving Behar the bad news last week and letting her bow out gracefully, someone leaked the Hasselbeck thing. Some enemies she has on the show saw their chance to get back at her. Barbara was spitting mad that it got mishandled.”
Therefore, Elisabeth will stick around for longer than originally expected, but sources are certain that at some point in the near future, she’ll be “toast!”
Guess Babs gets what Babs wants, after all!
But hey! As we’ve stated before, we think this is the perfect time to re-vamp the series, and if the rumors are true that Brooke Shields will soon be coming in, then we think it’s definitely an indication that as far as The View is concered, these times they are a-changin’!
What do U think?? Is it time for Elisabeth to go??
Proving once again that mountains of money and fame can turn a toddler into a real insufferable thorn stuck in humanity’s ass lips,JustinBieber typed out an “F U HATERZ!” rant on Instagram against the media for saying that his management and family are going to put him in rehab, because they think he’s losing it. This was a good idea, because nothing shows that you’ve got it together like a rambling, typo-filled, delusional rant of mega douche proportions.
The Biebs shat out the rant on Instagram earlier today, but one of his babysitters quickly deleted it and replaced it with a message that was slightly less douchey. But in his original rant, Bieber tells the media to suck on the lumpiest part of his diaper, because his piggy bank is stuffed to the top and his head is screwed on straight. Justin Bieber knows the latter part is 100% true, because he just had his head re-tightened at the Baby Alive factory. The Biebs also really told the intervention experts when he said that he doesn’t need rehab, because he’s 19 and a huge star. And somebody should turn the garden hose on White Oprah, who is probably passed out drunk on the front lawn, because she’s going to need to come at the Biebs for hating on her innocent child.
Here’s the Biebs’ rant and I can’t make fun of his typos. I make more typos and I’m sure it’s not easy using Speak & Spell to edit your rants. via ET
“I’m tired of all the countless lies in the press right now. Saying I’m going to rehab and how my family is disappointed in me. My family is beyond proud. If Anyone believes i need rehab thats their own stupidity lol I’m 19 with 5 number one albums, 19 and I’ve seen the whole world. 19 and I’ve accomplished more than I could’ve ever dreamed of, i’m 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning. I know my talent level and i know i got my head on straight. i know who i am and i know who i’m not My messege is to to believe. I honestly don’t care if you don’t believe in me because I believe in me, and look where that’s gotten me so far.. I’m writing this with a smile on my face and love in my heart.
Letting u know first hand how I feel rather than have these story linger. I’m a good person with a big heart. And don’t think I deserve all of this negative press I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am and my hard work doesn’t stop here. i’m growing up finding myself while having people watch me and criticise me everyday i think im doing pretty damn good. And to those comparing me to Lindsey Lohan. Look at her 2012 tax statements.”
Yeah, the Biebs’ transformation into Aaron Carter is right on schedule. Damn at that last line. The Beliebers must’ve slid off their high chairs when their mommies read them that line.
I can’t wait for Lindsay Lohan to file a 0 billion lawsuit against this entitled douche for using her name for publicity and slandering her pristine image as a responsible, tax-paying citizen. And I hope she wins. Screw Justin Bieber for making me feel bad for Lindsay Lohan for five seconds.
And TMZ has screen shots of the Biebs’ original rant if you want to see it.