If you’re attracted to Jenny McCarthy, you aren’t alone!
In fact, the frequent Playboy playmate is apparently so damned hawt that she can’t even keep her hands off herself!!
Speaking about sexual liberation at a Durex event in NYC on Tuesday, the sultry seXXX symbol admitted that her own hand takes the express train downtown way more often than you might imagine!
“As a female who can take care of herself, I’ll make sure I’m taken care of two to three times a week, by myself.”
We knew the starlet wasn’t prudish, but we never expected such a rigorous and calculated regiment for stirring her own honey pot!!
But she is trying to promote candid conversation about sexuality — so these revelations make sense!
“Their campaign is about liberating couples. It’s really important to open up sexually. Sometimes [it means] bringing in some toys.”
Toys!? Hopefully she means battery operated vibrators and not those action figures they sell at Target!!
Transformers do NOT belong in a vajay! LOLz!!
[Image via WENN.]
“I accidentally farted on an airplane sitting next to a stranger. It was embarrassing because he recognized me, and it was a loud and deadly one. I immediately did a little scream and turned on the air vent to get rid of the smell. I then put a blanket over my head. It was horrible!”
- Jenny McCarthy, on the last time she blushed, to People Magazine
[Image via WENN.]
Tree-fucking autism curer Jenny McCarthy is fighting against her own life mission. (No, I’m not talking about her life mission to be the biggest fame whore who ever fame whored. I’m talking about her war against vaccines and shit.) On stage at the AMAs last night, Jenny attacked and molested a yodeling baby and now every child who watched that mess is going to inject themselves up with every vaccine available. Because who knows what kind of diseases Justin Bieber has now and the children want to be prepared just in case the wild cougar attacks them too.
For next week’s show-and-tell at his pre-school, Justin will bring the three cone dildo trophies he won at the AMAs last night. Justin won (read: bought) Favorite Male (???) Pop Rock Artist (???), Artist of the Year and some other award. While accepting his first award, Justin, seen below with his mommy, spoke like a true spoiled little shit when he dedicated his win to the haters who didn’t think he’d be around for long.
“This is for all the haters who thought I’d be around for 1, 2 years. I feel like I’m gonna be here for a very long time.”
Isn’t that the exact same speech Jordy gave when he won the Best New Artist award at the Grammys and look where he is now. (Note: Jorday SO should’ve won the Best New Artist Grammy). Back to Biebs, there’s nothing worse than a smug toddler. I liked Justin Bieber a lot better when he was dancing to that Ooga-Chaka song on Ally McBeal. Click those ruby slippers, Biebs, and go home, because your diaper leggings need changing.
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Jenny McCarthy reminded us of her Playboy pedigree in a form-fitting strapless black top and gold sequined maxi skirt by Dolce & Gabbana at the 2012 American Music Awards on Sunday night.
Hot! Hawt! Haute!
We love the juxtaposition of the solid black top with the shimmery gold skirt. The mix of texture and the contrast in colors makes quite the statement!
Miz McCarthy piled her platinum locks into a gravity-defying bouffant and cinched her itty-bitty waist with a black lion buckle belt to complete her rock ‘n’ roll look.
[Image via Getty Images.]
Autism curer and literary genius Jenny McCarthy is peddling her newest book “Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic” and she learned the best way to sell a book is to spill some scandalous (not really) secrets about all the time she did drugs and fucked a tree so hard that it squirted sap like it’s never squirted sap before. HuffPo says that Jenny writes that while partying with her friends one night, she swallowed so many Ecstasy pills that it made her take off all her clothes (like she needed Ecstasy to do that) and practically rub her cooter off while screwing a tree.
“The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping.”
Jenny then writes that her friends, who were also rolling hard, got paranoid and wanted to run to the road for help.
“I noticed that we weren’t wearing anything. So I responded, ‘Let’s not. We’re naked. Let’s just try to sneak back to the beach and get our clothes.”
So sticking a vaccine needle in your kid is wrong, will probably send them to an early death and anybody who does it should be dragged into the town square and stoned. But eating a bunch of Ecstasy pills and then forcibly fucking a tree until you birth out an acorn baby is okay and totally not wrong? Good to know. Thanks for clearing that up, Jenny McCarthy, M.D. (Yes, in this case, M.D. stands for maniacally dumb.)
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid