Two days after bombs exploded near the Boston Marathon finishing line — killing 3 and reportedly injuring nearly 200 — Michelle Obama took some time out of her visit to a U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD to address the horrific incident.
Watch the FLOTUS’ inspiring, optimistic words (above).
Not only does Michelle send her condolences to all those hurt — physically and emotionally — by the explosions, she also emphasizes the fact that when abhorrent things like this happen in America, we are reminded of our nation’s bravery and selflessness.
I guess nothing lulls Jim Bob Duggar to sleep like the soothing and sorrowful sound of Michelle Duggar’s uterus sadly humming the melody to “Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen” to itself at night…… Because Michelle and Jim Bob are making her uterus even sadder by telling the world that they want to have yet anotherbaby. Michelle’s Battle of Normandy womb is probably temporarily speechless right now, so I’ll speak for it by saying: WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!
The Duggar family announced on Monday that they’re single-handedly single-vaginaedly helping the US to overtake China as the #1 most populated country in the world and Michelle told Radar that being a grandmother again is “wonderful,” but she would really love to have another baby of her own. Michelle and Jim Bob’s 19th child, Josie, was born with all kinds of health problems and she suffered a miscarriage a little over a year ago. Michelle tells Radar that she might be too old to have another child, but she’s still trying.
“If God saw fit for us to receive another child we would love that and welcome that. Well, I’m 46 years old, and if this is the end for me being able to bear children then that is God’s timing. I will rejoice no matter where I find myself. Having grandchildren is like cream on the top of a wonderful sundae!”
We get it, Michelle Duggar, we get it. Michelle and Jim Bob like to fuck and they like to do it bareback style. But for the sake of her uterus, she should put a plug in Jim Bob’s peen slit before she gets on that dick. I don’t know how many times I’ve read about Michelle Duggar’s uterus prolapsing. Every time her uterus tries to fall out, Jim Bob shoves it back in with his peen and tries to make another baby. If the Duggars really want to add to their hoarders pile of babies, they should just take a couple from OctoMom.
Today in L.A., JasonSegelis slowly peeling off the picture of Michelle Williamsfrom his iPhone before he dramatically falls into the open arms of one of his puppets. Because UsWeekly says that after dating for about a year, Michelle Williams and Jason Segel broke up earlier this month. You can go ahead and add “Forgetting Sarah Marshall 2″ to your Netflix queue right now, because Jason is going to violently type that script out right after he finishes bawling in the arms of one of his puppets.
A source tells UsWeekly that Jason and Michelle’s love ended, because she lives in Brooklyn and he lives in Los Angeles, and one can only breathe in so much airplane air before they’re like, “Fuck this.”
Jason seemed like a first degree clinger and he probably wanted to do it in his puppet room way too often, but I still thought they would last forever in Hollywood time, which is like two years. Oh well, at least Jason has his puppets. They will never leave him! And yeah, you know one of his puppet looks like this.
While looking like a cross between a young Jill Zarin and a hotter Ashley Tisdale, JimmyFallon and MichelleObamagave us the Evolution of Mom Dancing on his show last night. They pretty much covered them all, but they did forget the “gross your kids out while doing a drunken version of the ‘I Touch Myself’ dance” and the “overheated chicken on E caught in a tornado dance” (aka the Demi). Maybe they’ll cover those movies in the sequel.