Betrayal comes in many forms and today betrayal comes in the form of these pictures of Brit Brit Spears putting her mouth on a delicious cheesy grocery snack that didn’t come from the sticky loins of Chester Cheetah. Brit Brit hasn’t changed her weave and her love of fug footwear in years, and I figured that she would never change her undying devotion for Cheetos, but I was wrong. Brit Brit has cheated on Cheetos a few times before, but on Sunday, she did it in broad daylight and in front of the Cheetolings. Shameless!
This is the reason why Chester cries. It’s also the reason why Chester will spend his night drowning his sorrows in Cheetos vodka while singing the lyrics to a Toni Braxton song. You know a ho’s heart is really broken when they’re singing some Toni Braxton shit.
Beauty and style maven Marcy Guevara has some awesome advice for those of you desperate for the fierce & fabulous burlesque look a la Dita Von Teese!
Check out her suggestions (below) and try out the vintage glam style for yourself!
As a woman who loves all things glamour and fashion, I have always loved dressing up! One of the trends that I envy is the pin-up girl look. Who doesn’t want to get all Dita Von Teese’d out? Except I usually feel more sham than glam in this look so I enlisted the help of some fabulous friends to compose some tips for achieving the pin up look without looking like you’re ready for Halloween.
Tip 1: Curl Power
Michelline Pitt, stylist & pin up guru, suggests soft curls instead of the typical victory rolls we all envision when we think of pin up. “Often girls go for victory rolls and that was not a common hair style worn during the era. Luscious curls that shape your face, giving you that perfect Hollywood glam look.”
Find out more tips…AFTER THE JUMP!!!
Tip 2: Accessory Necessity
If the form-fitting dresses and vintage styles aren’t your speed, use accessories to get your pin up on. “Add a cute cocktail hat, or rhinestone hair piece to add some more glitz and sophistication. I also adore wearing leather opera gloves with my dresses at night,” says Pitt.
Tip 3: Seeing Red
As someone who loves to play with makeup, especially fun lip colors, red is the signature pin up look. If red is too bold for you try a fun pink or coral. I love Mally’s red lip kit and MAC’s array of hues.
Tip 4: Moderation is Key
Model Tess Munster suggests moderation when working the pin up look. She says, “I think it’s very important to not take everything in your closet that’s polka dot and throw it on when going for a ‘retro/pinup inspired look’.” Some staples you may want to invest in include cardigans, cigarette pants and a couple skirts. Munster also mused, “I think it’s fun to mix in an A-line skirt or pencil skirt with a fun tee shirt that’s modern to give it a twist.”
Tip 5: Texture & Type
According to pin up diva and burlesque queen, Natasha Estrada, the key is in choosing vintage inspired pieces made in modern fabrics. She suggests, “A 1940’s inspired jacket or top with clean lines and structured tailoring beckons Bladerunner chic. Pair it with a high-waisted pencil skirt in stretch bengaline and this is one of the most versatile ensembles you can own. It can easily take you from meetings at the office to cocktails afterhours.” Who doesn’t want that versatility!?
The pin up look is fabulous for the holidays when glitz and glamour are everywhere you turn, take these tips and ensure that you’ll pull it off with sophistication instead of being mistaken as an extra on Mad Men. For more inspiration, look to books, movies and the Hollywood elite. Estrada also comments, “Pin Up is all about embracing the feminine physique which makes it accessible for women of all shapes and sizes.” Stars like Christina Hendricks, Jessica Chastain and Dita Von Teese are great examples of celebs that know how to rock this vintage style while looking classy and contemporary at the same time!
By popular demand, here’s a NSFWish (without headphones due to a little scream cursing) video you might have already seen of a girl in an orange hoodie just fishing on her deck and being like, “Oh, hey fish, I just met you and this OHMYSHIT ITSAFAWKINGSHAAAAAWK!” Dude even says, “Reel it in!” Reel in a big ass shawk? He’s crazy for that one. You know, if I was a shark, that’s how I’d want to be greeted. I bet that shawk is sad it can never have a beer with that dude, because everybody should have a beer with that dude. It’d be the most exciting beer ever.
And now I’m off to the dentist again for another round of fun, so I’ll be gone for a while. I know, my mouth will always be a dirty gutter trap, so I don’t even know why I bother. Whatever, I just hope that my dentist has already seen this video and when he pulls out some disgusting crap from my mouth he screams, “It’s a big ass shaaaawk!”
Our lovely contributor Natalia Fedner has compiled a list of things you need to know to have the most faboosh 4th of July ever! Check them out!
DOs and DON’Ts for a Fashionable Fourth of July:
Do wear red, white, and blue. These colors look great together and just happen to be USA’s flag colors.
Don’t wear an an American flag shirt unless you’re an elementary school teacher. Opt for more subtle patriotism.
Do go for the pinup look – short red shorts/skirt and a blue-and-white striped sailor T or tank. Pair the look with pearl earrings and a flirty ponytail.
Don’t forget your sunblock. Red should should be the color you wear, not are.
Don’t get stripy with the self-tanner. I recommend L’Oreal Sublime Bronze Self-Tanning Gelee for a non-streak look.
Do bring a pair of flip-flops and a pair of fashionable shoes. That way you can chase the parade candy during the day and look all sorts of sexy at night.
Don’t wear white bottoms. On a holiday where candy is strewn about and the grills are a-cooking, there’s bound to be some gum/tootsie roll/spilled drink that you’ll inevitably sit on.
Do have an extra pair of sunglasses on hand. Someone wearing white shorts will probably sit on your first pair.
Do take a moment to contemplate the awesome country that you live in which gives you the freedom to choose what you wear.
And I’m not forgetting about all of you international peeps. If you’re not in the States, you can still have fun celebrating a Fashionable Fourth, by wearing your favorite patriotic American designer like Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, or Calvin Klein. Or just wear something from the Gap. I won’t judge. Okay, maybe I’ll judge a little. Wear something fashionable from the Gap.
Have a Fashionable Fourth tip? Tweet @NataliaFedner with the #fashionablefourth hashtag and she’ll try to give ya a retweet!
