It’s hard to imagine this is the same tear-streaked face that played Fantine in Les Misérables!!
Cameras caught Anne Hathaway and her friend after a super-duper shopping spree in the Big Apple this weekend, and the perfectly platinum gal was nothing but sparkly smiles!!
We’ve honestly never seen Anne so adorably amazed with life before!
We aren’t sure if it’s last September’s wedding, this year’s Oscars victory, or last week’s delightful dye job making her so happy!
Either way, keep doing what you’re doing, girlie — you are RADIANT!
[Image via FameFlynet Pictures.]
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spree The Sun says that international fashion icon Suri Cruise has signed (or scribbled) a .3 million deal to start her own fashion line for children called Suri. Since this is coming from The Sun, then the chances of this happening are about as slim as the chances of Tommy Girl twirling out of the Scientology closet and becoming a spokesperson for GLAAD and the head pharmaceutical rep for the makers of Prozac. But I wish this was made of organic truthiness.
The Sun says that Suri’s fashion line will hit New York department stores first and if toddlers with their own credit cards buy it all up, the plan is put the line into department stores across the country. Some source (aka The Sun’s intern who was forced to come into the office on a bank holiday) said, “Suri is only seven but she is incredibly interested in clothes. She has been through a very difficult year and adapted amazingly to her new life in New York, including the upheaval of starting normal school. This is a nice hobby for her, it’s certainly not going to take over her life. Most girls dream of being able to make their own clothes, this just means her drawings will now become a reality. It’ll be interesting to see how it pans out, there’s nothing around quite like it.”
The world really, really does need a Suri Cruise fashion line. Suri has probably stopped trying to help Katie Holmes, because that homely, raggedy thing is a lost cause (see pictures of Katie Holmes looking like a homely, raggedy thing last month), but maybe she can help others be a more fashionable them. There are so many toddlers out there looking a damn mess. You don’t know how many times I see a toddler out there in sweats, t-shirts, sneakers and normal kid clothes that every normal kid should wear and think to myself, “How could they crawl out of the house looking like that?“
So we really do need Suri to teach the children of the world how to dress. The Sun’s article is fiction, but hopefully it turns into fact and Suri puts out a line of 0 kitten heels and daddy & me matching skinny jeans (in the same size!).
Meanwhile, Blue Ivy Carter is down in her studio, drooling out sketches of one-of-a-kind couture gowns for toddlers of the half percent. Making off-the-rack clothes for kids is so GAUCHE!
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Suri Yep, it was definitely time to call it a night.
Ashley Benson was caught leaving Bootsy Bellows nightclub in West Hollywood Saturday night.
But the Spring Breakers actress, who’d been enjoying her night out with girlfriend Sofu Snow, wasn’t quite at her best.
Gurl may have kept it grungy in red Dr. Martens and leather pants, but she really looked the part with that EXHAUSTED expression, no??
Perhaps she had too much fun inside! Hope you got some rest, gurl!
[Image via ROLO/AKM-GSI.]
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Spring Laura Jeanne Poon’s damage control campaign should’ve ended with her award-worthy performance on Good Morning America, but it keeps on going and she’s trying to get extra credit now. While walking through LAX last night with her permanently mortified husband Jim Toth, Reese Witherspoon wore a City of Atlanta Police cap. Subtle ho is subtle. Yes, her publicists should get a raise for dragging this shit out for maximum attention, but Reese is wearing the wrong cap.
Reese should wear a cap that says “I AM REESE WITHERSPOON, FAMOUS ACTRESS!” or “I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN!” because then every police officer will know to not arrest her on American soil.
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Witherspoon When Buzzfeed posted the best (read: the most jacked up) pictures of the self-proclaimed Queen of the United States, Beyonce, at the Super Bowl, her publicist kindly told them to please remove the worst ones or Blue Ivy Carter would ask her biological father, God, to strike them down with the fury of a thousand lightning rods. They posted her publicist’s email instead and the whole thing turned into a meme that killed me, buried me and then brought me back to life. Because Beyonce has the humor of wig dandruff and doesn’t have the ability to laugh at her perfect self, she’s making sure that there will never be the second coming of the Ugly Beyonce meme.
Fstoppers (via Jezebel) says that Beyonce has banned all professional photographers from her Mrs. Carter Show world tour. The tour has its own photographer and after every show, Beyonce’s publicist will send 3-5 pre-approved pictures to the media. But the plan is backfiring and magazines and photo agencies are buying low-res, janky pictures from the fans at the show. Fstoppers puts it like this:
Beyoncé’s publicist, the same one who emailed and asked websites to remove images she didn’t like few months back, decided that this time they wouldn’t allow photographers to shoot her shows. Instead, they would provide 3-5 pre-approved images their own photographer shot for the media to use after each show. They wanted to control what images the media had access to. But we all know how media works – they will do anything possible to get images that other publications don’t have. If they can’t send a photographer to give them original photos, the next best thing they can do is buy photos from fans in the front rows in the arena (cameras were not allowed, but no one can take away phones). It’s the next best thing for them, and a huge nightmare for Beyoncé and her publicist.
Either Beyonce’s publicist want to the flood the internet of pictures of her looking like a confused He-Man or they just don’t know what they’re doing. Because whenever you tell a ho not to do something, they’re going to do it hard. It’s like when one my friends posts a picture on Facebook of me looking like I have fifteen chins, Andy Cohen wonk eyes and flared nostrils (aka my end of the night drunk face), and I ask them to take it down, they do the opposite. They post that shit all over my wall, print out a thousand copies of it and paste it on street lights all over my neighborhood. That’s what’s going to happen to Beyonce and I can’t wait, because I love pictures of her looking like a bodybuilding bull dog trying to lay an egg through its butt while smelling some dirty dick. Bring on the fug Beyonce pictures!
And here’s Beyonce at her show in Amsterdam last night. The people taking pictures of her in the front row haven’t been heard from since last night. If you put your ear up to the sky in the dead of night, you can almost hear their cries coming from the basement.
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want And there’s a headline that’ll make your genitals close up or run up into your body and never come out.
Tan Mom serving up some “burnt, beached manatee” glamour in her topless beach photo shoot was only the beginning and what she really wants to do is spread her deep fried oyster for a peen on camera. Teen Mom Farrah is trying to get million for the porn she made with James Deen and Tan Mom writes in a letter to Vivid that nobody wants to see some young ho lay down some whack amateur coochie game. What the public really wants to see is Tan Mom’s pork rind poon in action. Tan Mom writes:
“I see you are trying to buy this sex tape from this Teen Mom. Well, if you REALLY want to make more MONIES, then I would agree to let you film me and all my hotness. I am far MORE popular and WAY HOTTER than Farrah! Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper. Contact me back if you’re ready to talk serious cash and rock the world.”
Steve Hirsch from Vivid isn’t exactly reaching into his wallet to pull out some MONIES to give to Tan Mom. His response was: “Unfortunately we don’t have a granny porn section on Vivid.com, but we feel your look would be perfect for radio. You could talk about everything you’ve ever done on a tanning bed.”
Steve Hirsch can eat his own ass. Tan Mom doesn’t belong in the granny porn category, she belongs in the leather fetish category. Get it right, Steve. But whatever, Tan Mom will show that beauty-hating Steve. She’ll team up with OctoMom, they’ll do a scissor porn together and make all the MONIES! The officials at Gitmo will buy every copy and use it as no-touch torture.
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