Whenever I see pictures from ~fashun~ events, a cold sense of fear covers my body and a creepier, a cappella version of the Troll Song crawls into my ears, because Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are usually there together looking like two giddy, little evil bridge urchins who are about to ask you to solve an unsolvable riddle. But a strange thing happened at the CFDA Fashion Awards in NYC last night. Ashley Olsen was not there!
Did an enchanted forest giant accidentally stomp on Ashley while she was collecting mushrooms to make a potion with? Was she a guest at that red wedding shit? Did Gandalf get her when she was trying to snatch Bilbo Baggins with her fellow goblins? Did her housekeeper once again mistake her for a greasy hairball that fell out of a cat’s mouth and vacuum her up? Whatever the case may be, Ashley Olsen was not there last night. Ashley and MK’s younger sister Elizabeth Olsen showed up in her place and made the face anybody would make if they had to pose next to a Trollsen while dressed like a warlock priest.
Elizabeth Olsen tried, but she just can’t prune as good as her sisters can. What’s really disturbing is that Mary-Kate can prune even when Ashley isn’t next to her. I thought their prune powers were only activated when they were standing next each other? I guess not. We should all be scared by this.
Here’s a few pictures from last night’s CFDA Fashion Awards, which are like the Golden Globes to the Met Gala’s Oscars. In order after the Olsens: Miranda Kerr, Zang Toi (wearing Kanye West’s next stage outfit), Betsey Johnson, Sofia Vergara, Nicole Richie, Ethan Hawke, Michelle Harper (thank the lord a Kardashian wasn’t there or they would’ve fucked that black rod on Michelle’s head), Zachary Quinto, Jessica Chastain, Linda Evangelista, Ireland Baldwin, Karolina Kurkova, Adriana Lima, Juliette Lewis, Jess from Girls (bitch, you ain’t Martha Graham), Rooney Mara and Kerry Washington.
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Answer: Not a one!
Whoopi Goldberg went to a Vanity Fair party at the Tribeca Film Festival in NYC last night and UsWeekly asked her a few questions. Based on the way Whoopi was dressed, they should’ve asked her what it was like teaching a young Harry Potter. But instead they asked her who she thinks should replace Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselcrack on The View next season. Whoopi’s internal hard drive processed that question for a quick second before she opened up her empty hands to show UsWeekly how many fucks she gives.
“Let me tell you this about The View: I take a paycheck every other week. That’s all I do. I could give a shit what comes. I do my job — I have a contract. That’s where I stand. I don’t give a fuck.”
Just in case we didn’t get it the first time, the honey badger of daytime talk show hosts let us know that unless ABC pays her to care, she no care!
“I don’t care. That’s not my job. My job is to show up and be cute by 11 o’clock and get the fuck off that show by 12. And that’s what I try to do. I think it’s the only way to keep your sanity because these are not decisions that I get to make. It ain’t my show. It’s Barbara’s show.”
So all Whoopi does is show up on time, leave on time and be cute? Barbara Walters needs to bring up that last part in Whoopi’s next employee evaluation, because I’ve seen the shit she wears on TV and it definitely doesn’t fall into the cute category. But seriously, where can I get a job like Whoopi’s, because I really want to get paid to not give one shit. Oh…wait….
And here’s a knocked up Evan Rachel Wood, Sandra Bernhard and Sienna Miller at last night’s Vanity Fair party and I’m sure Whoopi doesn’t give a shit about any of them.
Dlisted – Be Very Afraid
Well it took them long enough!
Elle Macpherson‘s replacement on Fashion Star has finally been announced and it’s none of than British model slash TV personality Louise Roe.
The Access Hollywood regular said hosting Fashion Star is her dream job, and thinks her past TV and design experience will help her shine.
“As a host I love working with a live audience, but I’m also looking to use my experience as a journalist and designer, to very much empathize with the buyers and contestants.”
Despite being ousted as host earlier this year, Elle’s thrilled with her successor.
The Body gushed:
“As executive producer of Fashion Star I’m really excited by our choice of Louise as host for the second season, I think her presence will energize and surprise.”
After all the changes, it’s nice to hear Fashion Star is getting everything in order for the second season!!!
[Image via B.Dowling/WENN.]
So much for Clive Owen!
While the Children of Men actor WAS in talks to replace Hugh Laurie in the RoboCop reboot, the action movie’s director has confirmed that Michael Keaton has the job.
The former Batman star will play the villainous CEO of Omnicorp, the defense company which creates and then tries to destroy one of our favorite robotic protagonists of all time. Director Jose Padhila made the announcement by saying:
“Michael is the final addition to the amazing cast we have assembled for this film and it is so great to have the last puzzle piece in place. It is thrilling that everything has come together to bring this innovative new vision of RoboCop to life. We’ve got a great script, a great cast, some killer ED-209′s and I can’t wait to get Alex Murphy back on the street.”
Keaton was a pretty good caped crusader, but as his performance in Beetlejuice proves, he’s a much better villain!
[Image via WENN.]
Well, it’s official!
While we mentioned before that Savannah Guthrie would be replacing Ann Curry as co-anchor on the Today show, NBC has finally made their announcement!
Guthrie will take the seat Ann had occupied, alongside Matt Lauer, Al Roker and Natalie Morales, and will officially be making her debut on July 9.
In a statement, NBC News President Steve Capus said:
“In just a few short years Savannah, has become a standout member of the news division as well as the ultimate team player. She’s anchored for Brian on NBC Nightly News moderated for David on Meet the Press, co-hosted the 9 a.m. hour of Today, reported for Rock Center and Dateline and provided legal insights in our Supreme Court Special Reports – and that was all within the last week!
She’s got an undeniable range, and she’s earned the trust of the news community, her colleagues and our viewers alike. I couldn’t be happier for Savannah and the entire Today team.”
Quite some impressive credits there, Savannah!
Today’s Executive Producer, Jim Bell added:
“I’m thrilled to welcome Savannah as our newest co-anchor, and along with Matt, Al and Natalie, we’ve got the best morning team in the business.”
Savannah has been with Today since 2011, co-hosting the third hour of the show and serving as its chief legal correspondent, a role in which she’ll also continue.
Congratz! We hope she brings in the ratings NBC was looking for, though Ann is gonna be hard to replace!
[Image via WENN.]
Out with the old in with the new!
Less than 24 hours after taking his final bow, Yves Saint Laurent is ready to announce Stefano Pilati‘s successor.
On Tuesday a senior executive at PPR confirmed YSL’s former menswear designer Hedi Slimane will take over as creative director.
Finally a rumor that was true!
The fashion house is expected to make an official announcement on Wednesday.
[Image via AP Images.]