As Chelsea Handler’s forehead vein explodes while she tries to figure out what in the fuck she’s going to say about this, Brad Pitt released this statement of words. It’s best if you read it in his Chanel No. 5 voice, especially the “absolutely heroic” part.
“Having witnessed this decision firsthand, I find Angie’s choice, as well as so many others like her, absolutely heroic. I thank our medical team for their care and focus. All I want for is for her to have a long and healthy life, with myself and our children. This is a happy day for our family.”
But isn’t almost every day a happy day for Brad Pitt? He has millions of dollars, a cellar full of the finest good shit, locks full of grease that can double as peen lube, is always in the presence of Zahara’s signature up-eye and he’s usually stoned to infinity and beyond. So it’s an EXTRA happy day.
Okay, we already knew that Britney Spears is out as a judge on X Factor, but to hear it straight from the sweet southern pop princess’ mouth is like daggers through our hearts!!
She’s already alluded to heading back into the studio to work on a new album, but now, BritBrit has finally spoken up and confirmed that she’s moving on from the reality show in a statement reading:
“I’ve made the very difficult decision not to return for another season. I had an incredible time doing the show and I love the other judges and I am so proud of my teens but it’s time for me to get back in the studio. Watching them all do their thing up on that stage every week made me miss performing so much! I can’t wait to get back out there and do what I love most.”
Okay, okay, so we won’t be seeing our little Louisiana pie on our teevees twice a week now, BUT, the Scream and Shout starlet may be packing up her deeelicious Cheetos and Starbux coupons and heading to the brights lights of Sin City! Fingers crossed, everybody!!
Following her arrest for pot possession, Fiona Apple was released and sent about her merry way to perform for people with good taste.
But she made it a point to call out four jerks who made her jail-time less-than-stellar at Houston’s concert Friday night. And guess what…
SHE’S GOT DIRT ON ALL OF YOU!!
And she’s not afraid to unleash it!! Cuz nobody screws with Fiona and gets away with it, that’s for sure!! So we hope you’ve got a good defense, bitches! Ha!
PRESS that PLAY button (above) to watch the craziest, most awesome post-arreststatement ever!!
Steve Honig might as well dress up as an angel for Halloween.
Cuz it seems like he’s always working overtime to play Lindsay Lohan‘s public opinion guardian.
He and attorney Shawn Holley could hop the parties together in such heavenly style! Ha!
Yes, Lindsay’s rep has released a statement on yet another one of Lindsay’s arrests. In the case of LiLo (allegedly) running over a NYC pedestrian, Steve tells us:
“While some of the facts are still being gathered, it appears that this is much ado about nothing. We are confident this matter will be cleared up in the coming weeks and the claims being made against Lindsay will be proven untrue.”
Welp! One can only hope!!
In the meantime, can someone set up a personal driver for Linds??
We mean, we’re sure she has the option… but can someone maybe convince her to use ‘em??? Then none of this would ever have to happen again!
As a loyal supporter of PussyRiot‘s political expression, the Queen of Pop has released a statement in protest of the Russian band’s “inhumane” fate.
Disgusted by the two-year prison punishment the women received for protestingVladimir Putin‘s oppressive policies, her Madgesty states:
“I protest the conviction and sentencing of Pussy Riot to a penal colony for two years for a 40 second performance extolling their political opinions.
Even if one disagrees with the location or how they chose to express themselves, the sentence is too harsh and in fact is inhumane.
I call on all those who love freedom to condemn this unjust punishment. I urge artists around the world to speak up in protest against this travesty. They’ve spent enough time in jail. I call on ALL of Russia to let Pussy Riot go free.”
The Queen has spoken! Who’s with her??
Madonna doesn’t back down easily –and obviously she has amazing connections — so we feel a storm of high-profile protests brewing!
