Maybe it’s the White House, maybe Miley Cyrus, who knows? Not Jimmy Kimmel, that’s for sure! He doesn’t even know what it means to Channing all over someone’s Tatum!
Ch-ch-check out the video (above) to see the hysterical yet still fairly seksi (I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum!
The actress, who gave a very moving — and slightly confusing — coming out speech at the Golden Globes this year, has officially listed her Hollywood Hills mansion for .4 million!
Talk about a big chunk of change!
The property, built in the style of a Spanish Villa, comes with four bedrooms, four bathrooms, two half bathrooms, an office and some secluded grounds. What’s more, it comes with a special guest suite, too!
While some of the other Avengers stars are negotiating themselves out of the billion dollar franchise, Samuel L. Jackson is doubling down!
The Die Hard With A Vengeance star wants to reprise his role as Nick Fury on the amazing looking Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.! He’ll even settle for a limited role. He says:
“If I was going to do S.H.I.E.L.D., I’d like to be — you know Charlie’s voice on Charlie’s Angels? That would be perfect. Because everybody recognizes my voice.
That would be good enough for me. And I told Joss that.”
Did he stutter, motherf**cker?! Put him on the show already! But it’s never that simple. Samuel says:
“I don’t know. He can’t hire me, I guess. Disney, Marvel, we’ll see what they think…”
Well, we know we would put him on in a heartbeat! Orders are orders after all!
The former CW star took to the NYC stage at The Village Underground for open mic night and turned up the heat with his sexy rendition of D’Angelo’s Brown Sugar! He even had The Twinship singing backup!
Now, Penn’s musical talents come as no surprise, particularly following his role as Jeff Buckley in the biopic Greetings From Tim Buckley. But we never thought we’d see him belt out this R&B hit.
Ch-ch-check out Penn’s soulful performance…AFTER THE JUMP!!!
Kunty Karltraded his heart in for the throne of Chanel and his insides are as ice cold as a penguin’s clit, but yet he still feels warmth toward his pet cat. Choupette Lagerfeld has her own maids who keep a diary of her daily activities, she flies on her daddy’s private jet, she eats better than Goopy Paltrow does AND she has the love of a ghoul who didn’t know he had the ability to actually feel feelings for a living thing. Choupette really does have it all and if Karl had his way, she’d have a wedding ring too! Karl tells CNN’s Fashion Week: Backstage Pass (via The Independent) that he loves Choupette so much that he wants to marry her. Yes, Kunty Karl wants to marry his pussy.
“There is no marriage, yet, for human beings and animals… I never thought that I would fall in love like this with a cat.”
I never thought that Kunty Karl would fall in love with ANYTHING. How is it possible that he looks at Choupette and sees hearts and rainbows instead of seeing a Chanel stole he can sell to an Upper East Side ho for thousands upon thousands of dollars? Choupette has turned Kunty Karl into a crazy cat lady. Soon he’ll making cock cozies out of her fur.
We all know what’s going to happen next. Karl is going to get the French government to pass a law making it okay for humans to marry cats. He’ll marry Choupette, Choupette will set him up by getting a younger pussy to hit on him, she’ll divorce him and she’ll get half of his empire. Karl will be too heartbroken to design another dress and he’ll spend his days caressing a lock of her fur in a dark corner. Damn, Choupette is good. I bet she works for one of Karl’s enemies like Donatella Versace or Harry Potter.
In “What kind of foolery did AmandaBynes spit out on Twitter today?” news, Amanda Bynes stepped away from her one-sided war with RiRi for a second to get back to what she’s really good at: threatening to sue whores! The courts better get a bigger file room, because they’re going to need a lot of room to house all the lawsuits that Amanda Bynes is going to file.
Amanda plans to sue the NYPD for every wrong they did to her (although, she didn’t mention getting slappity slap slapped in the vagina.) Amanda is highly offended, because she’s a good girl who’s allergic to booze and the good shit. Take it away, Amanda:
For once and for all, this is the last thing I’ll say about the mistaken arrest. I’m suing NYPD for illegally entering my apartment, lying about drugs on me and lying about me tampering with non existent drug paraphernalia, then I’m suing for being put into a mental hospital against my will, then locked up overnight for coming home after a facial and working out with my trainer like the good girl that I am. I’m allergic to alcohol and drugs and don’t partake in any of the above. I’m so offended by all of this but so proud to not be a drug or alcohol user. I don’t need to talk about this anymore. My lawyer and I are taking this offense so seriously! Everything they did was against the law and The judge saw that there was no drugs on me or proof of any type of bong or mental illness (I was so offended to even be taken to a mental hospital and they would not let me call my lawyer until the next day after being in jail all night, then I went to court and was immediately released because the judge saw that I was wrongly arrested. The cops found no proof of any type of drug use or evidence of drug paraphernalia such as a bong in or around my apartment) I’m also suing my apartment complex for lying about me smoking in my building. I’m free forever! You can’t lock up an innocent person! Thanks for caring! Look forward to seeing me in music videos! I’m getting in shape and getting a nose job! I’m looking forward to a long and wonderful career as a singer/rapper!
And Waka Flocka Flame just had to add fuel to the insanity by tweeting this:
@AmandaBynes when people hate and the media lies……. That means you popping #FlockaFacts
He’s not helping….
Amanda has already said that she’s going to sue all the tabloids and anybody who uses a picture of her without her approval, and now she’s going to sue the NYPD and her apartment building too. Amanda is basically suing everyone and I fully expect her to be in every episode of Judge Judy next season.
Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan broke out of Betty Ford, ran over a few babies, robbed a few pharmacies and is terrorizing the streets, but we’re all too busy caring about this Amanda Bynes saga to notice.
